In my last post, I discussed my backstory of quitting my job and starting my own business. The thing was I was completely unsure about what I wanted to do. Yep right, who does that? Me. All I had was a vague idea that I liked and enjoyed certain things. I loved the learning. But never could I come at exposing myself to being told I was not good enough. The problem was I knew I could learn and even enjoyed the processes. But, I would hit a wall of difficulty and convince myself I would never be good enough.
So what changed? Why now? To be perfectly honest. I am not quite sure. Was it pushing the age of 50 or was it the right time? Selling the house and quitting my job put me in a position where doubt and indecision could not flourish. Being down to one income was also a big motivator. I have a year to sort out my sh&t. The first thing I needed to do was decide what the hell I was going to do. So how did I do that?
Follow your passion. That's sh*t advice. I learned that from Cal Newport’s book ‘So Good They Can’t Ignore You’. I read it years ago so I don’t remember much. Other than the passion thing. But it’s good advice. So where did I start? With the things that I enjoyed, the things that I liked. The things that suck me in and don’t spit me out. When things got difficult I found a way through and believed I could improve. This was of course not always easy as the ‘you’re not good enough’ voice whispered in my ear, again. But If I came back to it, not let it beat me. Then that was evidence that I could stick with it, like peanut butter on a dog’s tongue.
In deciding what business I was going to build, I needed to bring along my friend pragmatism. Even in a world with plenty of resources to monetise almost anything. I’m getting on a bit and did not want to make my life harder than it needed to be. So I discounted the erotic mail-order ice sculptures.
So I created a list of careers that I felt would tick several boxes, something that would give me joy and be a challenge. Also, a career that would become a viable business. Here’s my shortlist of career choices that I had bouncing around my head.
Writer - I guess I’m doing this as we speak. But, I was envisioning myself as a novelist. I discount it, because ‘I like reading’, is a bit of a lame reason for becoming an author.
An Illustrator - I love drawing, but I’m not very good. I prefer to work in Illustrator with vectors. I was nowhere near what I needed to be to make it a business. I had one plus year to launch a business. Not ten years to become a competent illustrator.
Web Designer (UI/UX) - I enjoyed the designing and the building processes. I tried learning to code beyond HTML and CSS. But I couldn't get my head around the code of JavaScript with its plenty of available frameworks. Then I discovered no-code tools such as Webflow and Framer. This would allow for the possibility of not only designing but building websites.
It seems obvious that a web designer would be the logical choice. Yet, the decision to commit to web design was a tough one. My Brain which can be a complete arse at times. It works on a mixture of logic, intuition, creativity, over-analysing and a dose of anxiety. I had on many occasions fallen down the overthinking hole, which in turn kept me from moving forward. Arr, who am I kidding I lived in the hole, safe and warm for many years. That even, a scientist in a lab coat, safety goggles, and waving a test tube around, would fail to understand the whys. Let alone me, it was not about change, but more about acceptance. This is my brain and I would work with it. I needed to climb out of said hole and drag my feet to do something that could become my passion. Yeah, I know. Read the above book and you will understand. To this end, I needed to lean into my choices and commit. I needed to accept that my Brain was going to try and suck me into a hole of overthinking, second-guessing and doubt. I needed to say f%$K it and do it anyway. That in the end nothing is permanent. We learn, grow and improve as we practice the things we love.
The solution in the end was to do all three in some way. The Fuzzy Sofa Design Studio is my business that will focus on web design. The website will also include me exploring my creative side through illustrations. And a blog to enable me to write. Hopefully, this will all work in some harmonious way as I learn and improve. Let us not forget the importance of sharing the things we do. Not only for our benefit but also for others.
Thanks for your ears.